Since I started writing my letters to you, I successfully addressed three things in my life that had been haunting me prior to the end of last year. They were tasks that I have been putting off. Two of them had something to do with work and one was a personal one.
One of the things that I was putting off - was contacting my former land lady for the refund of my security deposit. After moving out from my previous house, I kept on telling myself that I was going to call my land lady the week after but work became really busy and I wasn't able to contact my land lady immediately. Last August - I thought of contacting her - but I had this irrational fear that I will not be able to get my refund and that I will get into an argument with the landlady. There was no basis for my fear --- but I told myself that I was not ready for such a confrontation.
Months passed - and I told myself that I really didn't have anything to fear - and that I should really just call the landlady and get as much money as I could from my security deposit. No need to argue with her on the final amount - just accept what she offers. When I was already going to call her - I decided to hang up before it rings because I thought to myself - what if it's too late? What if she will not give it to me - because I waited too long?
Last month - I got a text from her. She asked why I have not contacted her for my security deposit refund? She offered that if I prefer for her to just buy a Gucci bag with the money that she owes me - she'd be happy to do that.
I felt a great sense of relief when she contacted me. Apparently - she was really puzzled that I waited for so long to get a significant amount of money.
Looking back at this situation that I was in - I actually found that I tend to think of the worst scenario during these times that I procrastinate. It starts with me being too lazy to act --- then as time passes by - it transforms to me thinking that I don't want to confront another person about being too lazy in the past. I didn't want to be judged.
9 times out of 10 - I find that the worst case scenario that I tend to believe in my head - does not come true. The fear that fuels my procrastination is really irrational.
If you are like me who encounter this in your life --- I suggest looking back at the times that you have actually procrastinated. In those cases - when you finally acted on it --- did the worst case scenario that you imagined actually come true? I'm sure that most of the time - it didn't.
For me --- I have used this knowledge - to deal with my problem in the past month. When I think of the bad things that can come out of taking an action - I face the mirror - and I talk to myself. I tell the person in the mirror --- that the reality is that what I fear - is not likely to happen. I then listen to myself - and then I act. Guess what! I was right almost all of the time. The worst case scenario is just in my head.
With much love,
The 40 year old you
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