The Gifts of Death

“I am not ready to die,” Body speaks to mind.

“Neither am I my friend,” Mind responds.

One is never ready for Death. Till the last breath, Body, Mind and Heart wish for an alternate ending to life.

“I am weak,” says Body. 

“Body, I know you are weak. I am looking for the medicine to what ails you. I know there’s a cure for your pain.”

Mind’s attempt of reassurance is met with silence.

“You cannot give up, Body. Today, like many other times in the past, I will protect you.”

Body feels cold.

“Why am I sad?” Body muses.

“Stop the sadness. Drive it away,” Mind says. “Sadness makes us weaker. I can give you happy thoughts.”

“Think of the time we jumped off the cliff. Remembering that always gives us joy.”

Body recalls the moments when they fell into the water, the warm waters felt like a warm embrace back then, but this time there is no warmth. He continues to be cold. And the coldness reaches his feet.

“No!!!!” Mind is frantic.

“No!!!” He cries and his tears blind him.  He loses sight of Body. “Body, where are you my friend? Please don’t leave. Please don’t leave me alone.”

“My love, Please hold my hand. You are not alone. I am here.”  It is Heart who speaks. He has been watching Mind and Body all along.

Heart feels Mind’s suffering. Heart feels Body’s pain.

It is clear that the end is near but only Heart accepts it.

“Mind, please hold my hand. We are together till the end.”

“It’s unfair.” Mind is sobbing, “We should live forever.”

Heart cannot muster a response; he just squeezes Mind’s hand.

Mind calms down, then Heart speaks. “She is here my friend. Are you ready?”

“Sh-she is? I am not ready Heart. Can’t we ask her for more time? Can’t we offer her anything.”

“She does not need anything from us Mind. She comes when it’s time. And it is.”

Body is motionless.

The cold continues to spread.

The toes, then the feet, then the legs. Freezing.

The fingers, then the arms, the head, then the eyes. Freezing.

Lastly, the chest. The cold reaches the chest.

Heart is the only one who can speak and he says.

 “Death our friend, please be kind”

Death, as always, is kind. She embraces the three friends and kisses them one by one and speaks of her gift to each one.

She kisses Body and says, “Rest.”

She kisses Mind and offers, “The truth that you seek.”

She kisses Heart and gives, “Courage and love.”

Heart falls silent. There no longer is the familiar beat.

For a moment that is eternity, there is only peace.

In the end; Body, Mind, Heart, Death, Life and all there is, is One.

Practicing Down-Stays with The Dogs and How That Technique Helps us Get Stronger

Dear 30 Year Old Me,

We have two dogs.  The older dog is Midori - and she's a beagle.  The younger one is Char Siew - the Chinese Shar Pei.   We love both dogs.   They are our four legged children.   In fact,  our niece adorably calls them cousins.

Most people will say that we spoil our dogs.  Since we don't have human children - we tend to be generous with the material things for Char Siew and Midori --- treats, toys,  dog food.  The thing is - I think that what they appreciate most is when we spend time playing with them.

Last weekend,  I spent a lot of time with the two fur-babies.  I also had a lot of treats - from my recent trip to the US.  These are yummy treats - bacon, salmon, beef.  The time available - and the presence of the treats was the perfect opportunity to train the dogs.  Right now,   I'm trying to train them to do prolonged down-stays.  We are now able to do 45 second down stays.  In the past,  I've had longer - but it was not consistent.  I was actually very impatient with the progress --- and I ended up not being able to embed the behavior with the dogs - before moving on to tougher challenges.

This time - I know better.   I am progressing with the time - slowly.  I am also doing the training regularly.  Daily down-stay practice after our morning walk seems to actually work well.  This is our planned progress:

We started with 5 second down - stays last week - Tuesday.  We then progressed to 10 second down stays last Wednesday.  Then it progressed to 15, 20, 25, 30, and today 45.   Take note that even before we attempt the 20, 25, 30 and 45 - we actually warm up with many 10 second down stays.

I think that this experience is a good template for making progress in our other goals.   For example,  in my weight lifting program,   I have actually added reps and weights very slowly.   I realized that doing this reduces any risks of over-training.   For example - this is how I progressed with the weights for my bench press:   There are actually 3 main sets for the bench press and I started with 5 sets of 70 lbs each.   The week after that,   The first set - I increased to six but kept the same weight for all sets.   Then on week 3 - I kept 6 reps for the first set;  then increased the second set to 6 reps - and then kept the 3rd set to 5 reps.   So if you look at my training progress journal it looks like this:

Week 1:  Set 1: 5 reps, 75 lbs.   Set 2: 5 reps 75 lbs  Set 3: 5 reps, 75 lbs.

Week 2:  Set 1: 6 reps, 75 lbs.   Set 2: 5 reps 75 lbs  Set 3: 5 reps, 75 lbs.

Week 3:  Set 1: 6 reps, 75 lbs.   Set 2: 6 reps 75 lbs  Set 3: 5 reps, 75 lbs.

Week 4:  Set 1: 6 reps, 75 lbs.   Set 2: 6 reps 75 lbs  Set 3: 6 reps, 75 lbs.

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Week 10: Set 1: 8 reps, 75 lbs.   Set 2: 8 reps 75 lbs  Set 3: 8 reps, 75 lbs.

Week 11: Set 1: 5 reps, 80 lbs.   Set 2: 8 reps 75 lbs  Set 3: 8 reps, 75 lbs.

So with this plan - it took me more than 10 weeks before I increased the weight.   However - every week - I was getting stronger.  My muscles are learning how to do more work - and thus allows it to get bigger - with a much more reduced risk of getting injured.

When I showed this plan to one of my friends - he said that it will not give me the beach body that I would want to have for summer next year.   My response - is that my goal is not to have a beach body by summer of next year.   My goal is to progressively get stronger - and it if takes me years to get there - I am willing to wait.

So going back to the training activity that I'm doing with my dogs.   My goal is not to have the dogs stay for one hour by next year.   My goal is for them to learn that they will be rewarded for following the commands that I give them.  

My dear friend - in everything that you do - I would like you to keep this in mind.   Slow but sure beats fast and risky.   In a lot of your goals - you don't need to get there the fastest - your goal is to beat yourself.   Beat the records you set the previous week - and in the long haul - if you continue building your strength or building your dogs' ability to do a down-stay --- you will notice that you will be much stronger than a large part of the population who never even started lifting weights or who started but they got injured because they progressed too fast.

One thing that I keep on telling my team now is that the best time to plant a tree is 20 years ago.  The next best time is to plant it today.

With much Love,

The Forty Year Old you.