Answered Prayers

Dear Beneficiary of My Lost Wallet,

I lost my wallet on my way to Bali. It was filled with money that I was supposed to use to buy sarongs from the Ubud market in every color that you can find on the rainbow.

I recognize that everything that I planned to buy from Bali would have ended up at the back of my closet like most souvenirs I bought from all my trips. That happened to the dozens of Sarongs I bought from my first trip to Bali.

I came to Bali to pray for abundance and the gods had an odd way of answering that prayer. Instead of giving me the winning numbers to the lotto while meditating at the most holy temple of Besakih, they actually whispered these words to me:

“If abundance is what you’re asking for, let go of the need for having more than enough and be satisfied with what’s enough.”

“If abundance is what you’re asking for, what you have that’s more than enough, send it to someone who does not have enough.”

Which is why I want to make it official by writing you.

May the money you found be the answer to your prayers. May that money be my way of sending a miracle your way.

With Peace in my Heart,

Jose

PS - May you not be someone who was praying for more money to get a nose job.

Dear Generous Donor,

I found your wallet. It was filled with more money than I have ever seen in my life. I earn 200 pesos every day for selling candies and cigarettes.

I asked myself if I should keep it. With this money, I know I can take my daughter to McDonald’s every day for the rest of the year. 

My heart told me that keeping it as if it’s mine is a great sin even if I didn’t steal it. I decided to return it to you the next day but life got in the way.

The day after I found your wallet, my daughter fell ill.  I took her to the doctor who told me that she was very sick. He then gave me a list of medicines to buy.

I felt helpless. I didn't have money to buy everything in the prescription. Then I remembered your money.

I still thought that it was wrong for me to use it because it wasn’t mine. Confused on what I needed to do next, I prayed for guidance.

At the end of that prayer, I had the answer. I actually felt peace in my heart as if I was given permission to use this money to buy my daughter's medicine.

My daughter is well now. Thanks to the money that was in your wallet, she got well.

I want to ask for your understanding.

I cannot pay you back with money but I can pray for whatever it is you desire right now.

With gratitude,

Maria

The Gifts of Death

“I am not ready to die,” Body speaks to mind.

“Neither am I my friend,” Mind responds.

One is never ready for Death. Till the last breath, Body, Mind and Heart wish for an alternate ending to life.

“I am weak,” says Body. 

“Body, I know you are weak. I am looking for the medicine to what ails you. I know there’s a cure for your pain.”

Mind’s attempt of reassurance is met with silence.

“You cannot give up, Body. Today, like many other times in the past, I will protect you.”

Body feels cold.

“Why am I sad?” Body muses.

“Stop the sadness. Drive it away,” Mind says. “Sadness makes us weaker. I can give you happy thoughts.”

“Think of the time we jumped off the cliff. Remembering that always gives us joy.”

Body recalls the moments when they fell into the water, the warm waters felt like a warm embrace back then, but this time there is no warmth. He continues to be cold. And the coldness reaches his feet.

“No!!!!” Mind is frantic.

“No!!!” He cries and his tears blind him.  He loses sight of Body. “Body, where are you my friend? Please don’t leave. Please don’t leave me alone.”

“My love, Please hold my hand. You are not alone. I am here.”  It is Heart who speaks. He has been watching Mind and Body all along.

Heart feels Mind’s suffering. Heart feels Body’s pain.

It is clear that the end is near but only Heart accepts it.

“Mind, please hold my hand. We are together till the end.”

“It’s unfair.” Mind is sobbing, “We should live forever.”

Heart cannot muster a response; he just squeezes Mind’s hand.

Mind calms down, then Heart speaks. “She is here my friend. Are you ready?”

“Sh-she is? I am not ready Heart. Can’t we ask her for more time? Can’t we offer her anything.”

“She does not need anything from us Mind. She comes when it’s time. And it is.”

Body is motionless.

The cold continues to spread.

The toes, then the feet, then the legs. Freezing.

The fingers, then the arms, the head, then the eyes. Freezing.

Lastly, the chest. The cold reaches the chest.

Heart is the only one who can speak and he says.

 “Death our friend, please be kind”

Death, as always, is kind. She embraces the three friends and kisses them one by one and speaks of her gift to each one.

She kisses Body and says, “Rest.”

She kisses Mind and offers, “The truth that you seek.”

She kisses Heart and gives, “Courage and love.”

Heart falls silent. There no longer is the familiar beat.

For a moment that is eternity, there is only peace.

In the end; Body, Mind, Heart, Death, Life and all there is, is One.

Trial of the Century

Manila, PH - Today, we heard the sentencing of Lord Fernandez who was convicted for the crime of corruption of his true self and purpose. The trial was initiated when Fernandez published a blog post entitled “Confession”.
 

The prosecutor’s case was primarily built upon Fernandez’s confession. Here, we quote Fernandez.

“I confess to the crime of corrupting my own self. I woke up today not recognizing the man in the mirror. I look tired from carrying the burden of all the material possessions that I have acquired through the years.” 

During the trial, the prosecutor paraded Fernandez’s possessions:  multiple mobile phones, tablets, laptops, suit cases, phone cases, cameras, etc. All those possessions would have filled up Alibaba’s cave of treasures.

When Fernandez took the stand, he was asked by the prosecutor how he ended up amassing this much junk.

“When I was young, I did not have money for toys. Because of this, I could not join the boys in our neighborhood when they played with their toys. When I earned enough money to buy the big boys’ toys, I bought them. Every gadget I bought was my way of buying my place in the cool boys' clique.

“You committed bribery for acceptance.” The prosecutor proclaimed.

The public opinion on Fernandez was split. Some of them think he’s a monster while others think of him as a victim. When the guilty verdict came, even those who were sympathetic were not surprised.

Everyone expected the judge to throw Fernandez in jail but that sentence did not materialize.

The judge’s ruling today read:

“Lord Fernandez. It is odd that we even had to go through a trial when you practically plead guilty to the crime.  I am glad we did have a trial because it was enlightening and helped in determining your sentence for this so called crime.”

“In front of me is a broken man. You clearly have done a number on yourself.”

“What is the appropriate punishment for someone who is already suffering?”

“As judge, my ultimate job is to uphold justice. You admitted your crime. You have corrupted yourself and your confession is a cry for help.”

“As such, this is your sentence. Every day, look at yourself in the mirror. Tell that man, you are enough. The clothes on your back, the hair on your head, your voice and every cell in your body, your mind, and your heart make you whole. Every time you find the itch to acquire another gadget, or car, or house to buy yourself into someone’s acceptance, repeat unto yourself these words, ‘I am whole. I am enough’.”

The judge then stood up from his podium and approached Fernandez. The judge laid his hand on Fernandez’s shoulder and asked him to stand up.  The judge hugged him tight. When the judge let go of Fernandez, he said these last words, “Today, you have been judged with kindness. Remember that the next time you judge yourself harshly.” 

To Your Love I Yield

I promise

I will love you.

I vow to be by your side.

In light or in dark;

In sin or virtue;

You are held by my hands.

RESPONSE:

I sing of your love

Your vow to be by my side

In light or in dark

In sin or virtue

Your hands hold mine.

With your Love I yield

To My Divine

I promise

I will love you.

Mercy is served

In this banquet.

We partake of God’s grace,

We are filled with bliss.

RESPONSE:

I sing of your love

You serve mercy

In this banquet of grace.

Your kiss

Fills me with bliss.

With your Love I yield

To My Divine

I promise

I will love you.

Let go of your burden,

Plain may be the words

Of my lullaby;

It offers you rest.

RESPONSE:

I sing of your love

I let go of my burden

In the words

Of your lullaby

I find rest.

With your Love I yield

To My Divine

My oath of love

I profess.

I promise

I will love you

Now and

Beyond time.

RESPONSE:

Your oath of love,

You profess

Now and

Beyond time.

In response

I sing of your love

With your Love I yield

To My Divine.

Come Clean

Today, I came clean, at the Groomers.

The Groomers is the abyss filled with horror and pain. 

The imp employed for my torture was waiting.  He started by shooting a stream of water at my chest. I shivered from the cold.  My body was wet and my fur clung to my skin.  He then rubbed soap all over me.  My eyes burned as the soap got into my eyes. I cried from the sting. 

For a moment, I caught a glimpse of you watching from behind the glass window that separated us.  I squealed to ask for your help.  No reaction.  I think you did not even see me.  Your mind seemed to be miles away.  I saw tears in your eyes.  You were crying from pain it seems like.  I wondered what the cause of your pain was.

                                       

My attention then turned to my own pain as my tormentor blasted me again with water.  I plotted to get away from him but lost all hope of escape when I realized that I was chained to the table. I surrendered to the torture.  I stopped struggling. I decided to be still.

In this stillness, I noticed, that there was something missing. I remembered that I scratched so hard last night and this morning that I ended up with wounds from digging my claws into my skin over and over again. The compulsion for me to scratch was gone.  Could it be that the water and soap healed me from the itch?  Could it be that my so called tormentor was actually my healer?

The groomer brought out another contraption that blew air that swept through my body.  I no longer felt pain and discomfort. In fact, the air felt like a gentle touch that is not unlike your touch when you pet me. I actually enjoyed that moment being bathed with air.  I then heard a voice, “Do you feel better?”  I felt a peaceful embrace. I realized it was you. You were hugging me and kissing me.

 “It’s time to come home.”

And just like that, my ordeal was done. I looked at my paws, and smelled myself, and I realized I was still my old self, after going through that suffering.  I was myself but better.  I was cleansed from the furies that drove me to scratch myself till I bled.

You picked me up from the groomer’s table and I looked at your face, I noticed that you still had tears in your eyes. 

I may not be wise but maybe you can listen to someone who journeyed through the abyss at the groomers and found healing in the end.  Whatever you are going through, should you follow my lead and come clean?  Go through your own abyss   Like me, you will get out of there, and I’ll be waiting for you when you come out to tell you,  “It’s time to come home.”

Inspiration

Body, Heart and Mind are waiting for Inspiration .  They need Inspiration to write but as always, it isn’t easy to get her to appear when they need her.  The last time Inspiration paid them a visit; Body, Heart and Mind had to jump off a cliff.

There isn’t a cliff anywhere near where they are so Body, Heart and Mind do what Mind thinks can draw her in. They bombard her with text messages which say, “Inspiration, we need you.  Please come”.

Time passes, and Inspiration does not come.

                                    

“I’m tired. I want to rest,” says Body, yawning.

“We need you to be awake when Inspiration comes.” Mind says.

Body decides to send a different text message to Inspiration, “Inspiration, we need you.  I’m tired.  Please come soon.”

The phone vibrates and Body reads the response, “Abandon all hope, only then shall I come.”

Mind stands up, paces back and forth, and then blurts out, “What does that mean, abandon hope?  I won’t abandon hope!  I need hope to get this writing done.”

At that moment, Phobos, their pet dog starts tugging at Mind’s pants.

“Mind, I think you should take Phobos for a walk.”

“That’s a good idea Heart.  I don’t think Inspiration is coming. I give up. Come Phobos, let’s go for a walk.”

As soon as Mind and Phobos get out the door, a lady in a tutu appears in the room.

“Hello my friends,”   she greets Body and Heart.

“Oh sweet inspiration, you came.”

“I’m happy to be here. Where is Mind?”

“He went out to take Phobos for a walk.”

“Perfect! It’s hard to make Magic with Mind around.  He always hope that he can control my magic.  I just wish he learns how to give up control sooner and let us do our work.”

“Are you ready to make magic?” Inspiration asks.

“We are ready.”

Inspiration sings a song.  Heart and body dance with each other to her song.  Words start to appear on the screen of the computer.   The trio is surrounded by Inspiration’s creative light.

When inspiration sings the last note, she says, “It is done.”

“This is wonderful,” Heart and Body say.

The door opens and Mind yells.

“Inspiration - you’re here. Let’s start working?”

“Hi Mind.  We’re finished. Read this and tell us what you think.”

Mind reads the piece, “This is horrible. Inconsistent tenses.  Missing punctuations.”

                                        

“My dear friends, I’d love to stay but I need to go,” Inspiration disappears.

Heart says to Mind, “Can you do us a favor and edit the piece? Make it better.”

“I will make it perfect.”

Heart and Body smile. They are happy with the piece but they trust that Mind will not be satisfied with it until he thinks it’s perfect.

“Read this.”

“Good job Mind.  Whatever can we accomplish without you?” Heart gushes.

“Nothing,” Mind says.

                              

“Can I go to sleep now?”  Body says.

“Go ahead and sleep Body.  We are done for today.  We did well.”

I Seek

Hands hold Stick

Blindfold on eyes

A Game to Seek

The paper beast

Stuffed White, Blue, Pink

With hidden treats

A voice speaks:

"Be smart, turn to your right." 

Am I smart? To the right, I turn. 

"Hit it."

Swing the stick with all my might. 

Swoosh! No hit.

An idiot,

Am I?

A voice speaks:

"Turn Left, my Love"

Am I loved?  I go to the left. 

"Hit it."

Swing the stick with all my might. 

Swoosh! No hit.

Unloved, 

Am I?

A voice speaks:

"Turn around, pretty one"

Another one speaks:

"Forward, my dear."

Am I Pretty?

Am I dear?

More voices speak

I follow Each

To be pretty,

To be loved

To be right

But each voice

Leads to Defeat

My arms are weak. 

I ask "What do I seek?" 

My heart speaks.

"Freedom, you seek,

Let go of stick. 

Let your eyes see

See what you seek."

I drop the stick,

I let my eyes see.

The voices that jeer

They're not here.

Mere Phantoms

That lead to defeat. 

Heart's voice is real.

It knows what I seek.

I seek to see

I seek to be free

I Died For You

I died for you.  The pain of our good byes tethered you to the pain of this world

This has stopped the endless drifting of the life that you lived  but not explored.

I died for you.  The tears you wept for me lifted the fog from your eyes.   

Now you see clearly this world and its beauty.   

Now you see clearly the faces of those who love you.

I died for you.  Falling through the depths of despair gave you wings.  

With these wings you fly free. 

I died for you.  In my death your soul awakened.  

My last breath was the blaring sound that jolted you from slumber.

I died for you.  When you lost your self in the shadow of grief,  the Divine found you.

I died for you. 

Now, live for me.

Thy Will be Done

Luis has come back to his favorite writing spot: the chair - next to the window which overlooks the big pine tree across the street.  This is day three that Luis has attempted to write but the page continued to be blank.

“Today is the day”.   Luis muttered.

He is experiencing writer’s block.  The first writer’s block that he has suffered since a short story he has written about a boy and his dog was  published in the local paper.

“Now that I am published.  This should be easier,  right?”  He’s trying to convince himself that this statement is true.

Of course - he knows that is a lie.    Being published - does not make writing easier. 

“Maybe I should call on to my muse.”  

He took the brass singing bowl that lies on the desk next to where he sat.  He closed his eyes.  He touched the wooden stick on the metal bowl and began to spin the stick around the bowl.   The bowl began to sing.  

Luis prayed, “Come my muse,  I need inspiration.   What should I write?”

Luis stopped spinning the stick - and the bowl went silent.  He then grabbed the pen and held it next to the paper.   He stared at the pen,  he held his breath.   He is trying to will the words to come out from the ink of his pen.

NOTHING.

Frustrated.  Luis stood up.  Slammed the pen on the white sheet of paper. 

Luis yelled,  “Why - Why - Gods of Writing?   What have I done for you to abandon me?”

“Why did I ever think I will ever be able to write brilliant pieces?”  He muttered to himself.

“I give up.   I’m not a writer.”

And this is the truth.  At this moment - Luis is not a writer.  He is just another guy - experiencing the  pain from being creatively impotent and detached from his divine inspiration.  

Luis stared at the blank page.  Once again,  he picked up the pen and started writing:

I surrender.  Thy will be done.

Then - like magic,  the spark of inspiration came and Luis continued to write.   

Like the many gifts of the divine - inspiration is not a slave that comes when we will it.  No amount of previous success will assure that it will come back.  No rituals and prayers will assure the answer from the gods of creativity.  And when we rage on for being disappointed  for being deprived of the  gifts we think we are entitled to - we may actually have done nothing but scare the gifts from coming our away.

For the divine inspiration comes - not when we call.  It comes when we feel defeated and finally surrender and acknowledge its power over us and say:

“Thy will be done and not mine”

Confessions of the Tyrant Sun

During the day, the sun sits on his throne high in the sky. He is a wise ruler, but he is stern and cruel. Cruel to those who dare stand and stare at him in defiance. Those who defy him are punished with blindness.

“Follow my word,” he says.

“My light, my truth will keep you safe. There are monsters in the shadows, I can protect you from them.”

The sun is alone as he sits on his throne in the day sky. His subjects bow to him never looking at him, never questioning him. They have their heads bowed as they work to please the cruel Sun.

Then night time comes and the moon starts to take her seat on her throne. She is a benevolent ruler. That benevolence comes from the acknowledgement that her light is not alone in the night sky. The millions of stars are with her. Each one of them with their light and their truth, keeping their subjects safe. 

“Come look at me,” she says, “Come look at us. I the moon am your mother. The many stars your brothers and sisters.”

“We are here with you as you live through the night. As you look at us - we see ourselves reflected in your eyes.”

The moon’s subjects take comfort in these soothing words that they themselves are like her and the stars. Whatever monsters there are in the shadows - they can slay because within their eyes are the power of the universe’s light. So they lay to rest after sending their thanks to the moon and the stars.

I confess, that I am the tyrant sun during the brightest moments of my life. I am the arrogant ruler who thinks that mine is the only truth. I do not see others because I am blinded by the intense brightness of my arrogance. 

I confess that all the brightness goes away during the deepest and darkest moments of my life. As my own light fades, I lift my gaze to the night sky, and I see that I am not alone - and that I am not the only source of light. I find that my own truth is nothing but a small reflection of the truth that shines from the moon and the many stars in the sky.

So I ask of you my brothers and sisters - I ask for your forgiveness for only acknowledging your light and your truth during the night. I then ask for your blessing - to help me not get blinded by own arrogance during the brightest moments of my life. Those times, I need the Grace of the Divine to look much more closely and dim my own light - for me to see the miracle of you, the moon and the stars reflecting your own light and truth into my eyes.

I love My Job ( Even on a Monday)

The office chime is blaring from the speakers signaling the end of today’s work day. It’s a Monday – and Ben thought that the end of the work day couldn’t have come sooner.

Ben packed his bags – and walked out of his office

“Good bye everyone, y’all have a good evening.” Ben said to the people who sit next to his office.

Ben got to his car – which like many times before – is being driven by his father. He gets teased a lot by his office mates for that. He's a forty year old Papa's boy.

Ben asked his father about his pain therapy – to which his father replied. “OK lang --- mukhang gumagana naman yung therapy” (It was ok – it seems to be working).

“That’s good.” Ben said.

“That’s good,” Ben repeated and like all other car rides before this, his thoughts were no longer inside the car.

“I love my job but …”

Yes – Ben loves his job but it does feel like there are days like this when he thinks, “I love my job but …” He loves his job – but he can’t seem to think that most days – it’s drudgery. He doesn’t like the days when his mailbox is full and with each e-mail screaming "answer me". Or those days when there are a gazillion invoices and expense reports to review.

“Ugh!"

Then he paused and said to himself, “But those e-mails are nothing compared to the blessing of being able to connect to the people I work with.”

This again is the truth – Ben loves his team. It’s the best part of his job.

“I love my team but …”

Again – that word – BUT. Today he spoke to George who set up a meeting with him because he needs to bounce off an idea with Ben. The meeting went too long - and by the end of it - both Ben and George were confused. Ben recalls saying to George when the latter was expressing his frustration, “I know what you are saying and I understand where you are coming from and if I were in your shoes – I will feel and think the same way.”

That’s a lie. He doesn’t know where George is coming from. Ben is a people pleaser and he has the gift of saying what seems to be the right thing to say to others. This is why people like him because he makes them feel better when they talk to him. Ben likes the thought that people like him and he thinks that if his team mates don’t like him – he is nothing.

“But I wish I can just tell them the truth ... when they need to hear it ... even if they can't handle the truth.”

He muses, "I wish I can tell someone to fuck off when he or she is being a pain in the ass"

The car stopped – which halted Ben’s contemplation about his job. Ben hears his three dogs barking. He is home. He got off the car and headed on to the door. He opened the door to be welcomed by his dogs who seem to have missed him so much. He smiled – this is the highlight of his day.

“I love my job and – I live a good life. I should just be thankful.”

As Ben thought about this – he knew that these were just affirmations – that most days they are true but today – it’s a Monday --- and today he wishes that all the words were true.