Certainty and Faith

Dear Thirty Year Old Me,

I am currently reading this book: The Universe Has Your Back by Gabrielle Bernstein.  I love this book.  It actually puts into words all of the divine experiences that I've had in my life that I am starting to notice more everyday.   For me,  one of the things that is resonating well is the idea of certainty in the divine purpose of our lives - and that it is meant to be joyful and full of love.

So as you sit there reading this letter,  I want you to think of one of Gabrielle's exercises.  Think of what you will be doing if you are certain and that you don't have any doubt about your purpose and the life that you're meant to live filled with love and joy.   I have completed this exercise and here I share with you what I have come up with.

Releasing doubt will give me the certainty and faith to honestly speak about how I feel.

Releasing doubt will give me the certainty and faith to live a curious life.

Releasing doubt will give me the certainty and faith to focus on gaining joyful and loving experiences instead of collecting material possessions.

Releasing doubt will give me the certainty and faith to be grateful when I receive compliments.

Releasing doubt will give me the certainty and faith to talk to strangers especially strangers I am attracted to.

Releasing doubt will give me the certainty and faith to please myself and take care of my wants and needs before I take action to please others and take care of their wants and needs.  

Releasing doubt will give me the certainty and faith to identify my personal boundaries and communicate them to people I interact with.

Releasing doubt will give me the certainty and faith to act with spontaneity.

With Much Love,

The Forty Year Old You

Job Satisfaction

Dear Thirty Year Old Me,

I want to share this exchange I had with one of our interns earlier this week. That meeting was actually profoundly satisfying but there was one question to which my answer I will share with you today.

The question - "What gives you the most satisfaction in your job? Is it the pay? The environment? The actual work?"

A tricky question to answer because I want to be as truthful as I can. Like many times in the past month since I learned of "Big Mind", I took 2 mindful breaths before I gave my response.

My response:

I would be lying if I tell you that I don't derive satisfaction from the compensation I have in my job but I can honestly say that it is not the primary source of my satisfaction. I would have to reflect and take an inventory of the days in a year when I experience extreme joy and satisfaction because of one facet of my job. For example - the other day, my boss was coaching me through a difficult decision that I have to make. My initial recommendation wasn't really a logical one so we ended up with a different proposal. All through out that interaction - he asked difficult questions. He listened to what I was saying. He made me felel important. After I hung up the phone - I felt a deep sense of gratitude for having the opportunity to work with a great boss like him.

I would also like to say that times like this one - when I am able to talk to people like you (referring to the interns) - gives me a great sense of satisfaction that I actually sometimes exclaim - I get paid to do this? I am so blessed.

The joy and the gratitude and the feeling of being blessed - I would say is equivalent to the joy and gratitude I feel when my boss hands me the letter once a year that declares - what my new compensation is for the year. Does this mean that I don't feel joyful when I see my payslip every payday? I do - but the deep joy is experienced only when I get that letter - after that - and I'm being honest here - I kinda expect that amount I get in the paycheck. So you see - I only experience extreme joy related to compensation - once a year.

Whereas the joy that gives me the experience of my hair standing on its end? I experience that a lot more often in the great interactions with my great colleagues. I experience that when I feel overwhelming satisfaction over a job well done or when I feel proud of my team's work.

So - for me - in conclusion - if I were to look at where I derive the satisfaction in my work that makes me want to get up in the morning excited - it is rare that I do it because of compensation. I do it most of the time because of the joy I get with working around people I respect and doing work that I love.

Feeling Blessed,
The Forty Year Old You

Generosity

Dear Thirty Year Old Me,

Today I have encountered three experiences which has lead me to think of the concept of generosity.  Let me start with the most recent event that I've experienced.   I have actually just finished watching a video of a speech delivered by Simon Sinek - author of the book "Start With Why".  I will not dwell with the topic of his speech - but I want to touch upon what he said about generosity.   He indicated that doing an act of generosity makes us feel good.  This will lead us to think that in mankind's evolution,  mother nature fired up all the synapses and the chemistry in our brain to make us feel good when we do an act of giving --- because this is essential to our species survival and growth.   Mother nature rewards our acts of kindness with feeling good because we need to want to do it over and over again.

The second experience that I wanted to share with you is the conversation that I had with my dermatologist and another one of her patient.  She and I talked about our shared experience of taking care of our parents.   She actually told her other patient - who is just about to graduate from College - that it is important for the latter to realize that it is her mission to be generous to her parents.   Her success in life may very well depend on that.   I reinforced that message.   I know that in my life,  when I have actually whole heartedly accepted the responsibility to take care of my parents - and be generous with them,  my income continued to grow.   So for people like me - the thought of being generous goes beyond feeling good over it.  It also somehow convinces us that it actually is the tenet of our success.   One can argue - that the generosity actually provides one motivation to do well in their chosen career because the success actually allows someone not just to support himself - but also to support his loved ones.

The last experience I want to share with you is that today - as usual I've chanced upon the homeless women along session road.   I typically have spare change for them - but today unfortunately I didn't have change.  So I wasn't able to give them anything.   In the past - when I give them something, even the smallest change - I actually feel really good about it.  Think about it --- giving money to the homeless is actually a legitimate business transaction ( not my original idea,  Simon Sinek actually brought that up in his speech ).   You give them money so you can feel good.  To be honest - that's a pretty good way to spend one's money - compared to trying to feel good by consuming alcohol or buying the latest gadget.

Anyways - my parting words for you my friend is that you must take opportunities to be generous.   It's a blessing that you have that you have actually received the resources to be generous.   Take advantage of it --- you may not be remembered as the best looking man in the world - but to be remembered as the generous son, uncle, brother, boss --- that's actually worth a lot more than the former.

With all my Generous Heart,

The Forty Year Old You.