I want To Live a Healthy and Happy Life

Dear 30 Year Old Me,

Yesterday I wrote to you about one of the superficial "whys" that seem to drive a lot of what I decide on in life.  I talked to you about my need to feel that other people perceive me as a cool dude.  I say it's superficial because if you think about it,  having that value actually leads to being someone who would like to fit in.  How does one fit in?  One fits in by buying the latest gadgets that come out in the market even if you don't really have a need for the new gadget.   It also means following the latest fashion trend even if what you used to wear actually still works.   Largely for me - being cool actually means buying stuff.   But it doesn't end there.   Being cool also means not expressing my disagreement with people who are the "powers that be" even if they are wrong.

So today - I have come to realize - that as much as this value has actually been what I have used as a compass in my journey in life - I think I just have to throw it away.  It is time to throw away the value of "coolness".

The problem that I now face though is that when I throw this away,  I feel naked.  It's like I don't really have anything to show for now - because other people's opinion - which guided my life is no longer the guide that I choose for my life.   So what should I follow now?

To answer this question,  I had to ask myself why I have progressively been asking for answers on how to live a better life.  I actually realized - that the momentum has actually started over two years ago.   It started  when my niece - our niece - who was eight years old then was diagnosed with cancer.   As you can imagine - that was devastating for us in her family.   The thing is - when that news broke out,  I started reading to see how someone can deal with a disease like that.  You know what I learned?  I learned that the disease that we call cancer - is one which actually develops,  when one's body starts to attack itself.  I am not a doctor - so I'm sure that this statement will sound too simplistic.  But think about it.  Cancer cells are actually cells that mutated into "little monsters" inside  a patient's body - starting to attack the healthy cells around it.

So in my quest to actually figure out how to deal with the disease of my niece,  I came across so many written articles about ensuring that we help my niece to get her healthy cells to stand up against the cancer cell.  We need to get her healthy cells to be stronger.   I'll tell you four important actions, that a cancer patient needs to take to get healthy:

- Eat healthful food.    Vegetables - green and leafy ones can help the body build the strength to get their healthy cells stronger.

- Stop poisoning the body.   Right now,  we actually feed ourselves with so much chemicals not by taking poison straight from the bottle.  We do it by ingesting processed food.   A lot of food items that come in a box or in a plastic bag are actually mixed with chemicals that in their native form will scare any human being from ingesting them.

- Build a healthy mind.  The mind controls everything in our body.  If our mind is sluggish and overtaken by stress, it can't come up with the necessary actions to help your body to choose to get well.

- Build a happy heart.   Our feelings need to be filled with all the positive feelings.   Stress and sadness actually causes our body to build up toxic chemicals within our body.  These toxic chemicals feed the mutated cells that we call cancer.  Moreover - these toxic chemicals actually cause your healthy cells to weaken.

The thing is,   with all this knowledge,  I am unable to figure out how to impart this knowledge to a child.   She is a smart kid and I know that she can actually understand half of what I will tell her - but I realized that if I was going to help my niece - the best way to teach her is to actually be the best example for her.   So I decided that I should actually practice the four items that I mentioned above - and I have progressively made bigger and bigger decisions in my life to be the Super Human with healthy cells.

So - what's the point of telling this story?  I am telling you this story because I'm starting to realize that this my why.   My why is to actually live a great life so I can be the best model to my niece - so she can live a wonderful life full of passion which will in turn help her keep her healthy cells strong.  I need to be the positive influcence in her life so she can choose to live a life with a healthy mind and a happy heart.

I know that I rambled through this letter - and I apologize for that.   The ideas are just flowing out as I type this letter - and I have not had a chance to organize it.  I ask that you stay patient with me and I believe that as we continue on this journey - we will really discover the life that we can live - not just for ourselves - but also for the people who matter to us.

With all my Happy Heart,

The Forty Year Old You

I Want to Be Cool. I'm Afraid of being Uncool

Dear 30 Year Old Me,

You are a cool dude.  People seem to be drawn to your charisma.  In fact when you take the Strength Finders test - you will discover that one of your key strengths is Woo.  People you meet think that you find it easy to relate to people - even those you just met.  You love this strength.  I will actually say that you thrive in your life because you think you are the coolest dude in the community that you live in.

Thing is - because this is how you perceive yourself,  any activity that you perceive that will lessen your cool factor just terrifies you.  You like singing - and you remember enjoying the moments when you sing in the church choir.  However - you stopped this because you felt that as much as you like singing,  it just gets too embrassing to be surrounded by these church people who are not the typical people that you think a cool guy like you should hang out with.  This is why you stopped singing with Church choirs.   This is why you stopped singing in public altogether.

The above example is just one of the examples that I can think of which contributes to your inability to finding your passion.

You may ask why I'm bringing this up now.   I have thought about it because one of my first assignments for the first module of Live Off your Passion is to answer this question:

Identify one of the excuses that relates most to your situation and write down one positive reason why it might be nothing more than just that - a hollow excuse.

So the excuse that I thought was most applicable to my situation is:

I don't know what I'm passionate about.

I don't even fully grasp what passion actually means.  If you ask me, is there something that I do that I really enjoy doing - I will have three answers for you:  Singing,  Speaking to an audience,  having deep conversations with people.  I enjoy doing those things - but is that passion?

The second half of that assignment is to identify a reason why this statement of "I don't know what I'm passionate about" may just be an excuse.  Here is my answer to that question (for now):

I think that the truth that I may actually be saying that I don't know what I'm passionate about is that I find people who do passionate things corny.  Or at least - when I'm surrounded by my friends - I act as if I find passionate people corny.  In the Filipino language - we find them "baduy".  They can be off-putting.  As I said above - at the start of this letter,  you and I have put so much value in being perceived as the cool guy that it is very hard for us to want to do things that will make us uncool.   And being a person who acts on his passion can really be uncool.

Now - let me tell you this - that passionate people are actually not uncool.  In fact - the reason why I have been drawn to the blog "Live your Legend" and the blog "Nerd Fitness"  and the blog "Zen Habits" is that I really thought the guys who write these blog are so cool.  I think they are rock stars.  But if they are rock stars - why do I think that being like them will be "baduy"?

For now - I am not sure i can answer that question.   I will actually continue with the course and see if I find the answer.  I really hope that I find the answer because I am hoping that finding it can be one of the keys to door that keeps me from Living off of my Passion (whatever that may be ).

WIth much Love,

Your Forty Year Old Self

I Started Following Live Your Legend

Dear Thirty Year old me,

A couple of weeks ago,  I read a heartfelt post from Leo Babauta's blog: Zen Habits about the grief that he felt from the death of his friend Scott Dinsmore.  I have never heard of Scott before then.   To be honest - it is odd that I have not discovered him in the past because three other blogs that I follow are run by good friends of Scott:  Nerd Fitness,  JamesClear.com,  and The Art of NonConformity.   I don't know why I have not discovered Live Your Legend before Scott's death - I will not bother to try to understand that - but what's important for you to understand is that after discovering his blog,  I jumped in and read through his posts voraciously.

As I write this,  I am actually going through a paid course that I bought from Live Your Legend.   The course's name is Live Off Your Passion.  The course was worth $ 197.   To be honest - I'm not sure if this is going to be money well spent.  However - after reading Scott's and his friends' posts on how each and everyone of them are living lives where they actually get to earn a living from something they're passionate about,  I decided - why not take a chance on that $197 and see what I can learn from the course?

So I took a chance and bought the course.  I watched the introduction from Scott.  I watched his TED talks where he talked about how someone can live and earn from doing what they are passionate about.   I watched a video of Simon Sinek called How Great Leaders Inspire Action.  These videos,  the words that Scott wrote - spoke to my core.  I want that life.   I want the life where I can actually truly say that I am doing what I'm passionate about.   Take note that as much as I do want to earn from this endeavor - in my heart of hearts,  I know that this encounter with Scott's blog has awakened this feeling inside of me that had laid dormant.   I remember,  when I was younger that I had visions of myself being a great man - a man who helped others.   It had laid dormant because life happened - I started working,  I had a family to support,  I had debt to pay,  I had a lifestyle to sustain.   And so as I aged from being the bright eyed twenty year old gung-ho and inspired to do great work --- I grew older and I reached the age of 30 and that bright eyed me as you know has changed into this weary soul.   I'm telling you - I really hope that with this hard earned $ 197 that I spent on the Live Off Your Passion course,  I will be able to discover that bright eyed man that I used to be.

I will keep you posted.   This may actually be one helluva ride.

Truly Yours,

Your Four Year Old Self