Come out of the Closet

Dear 30 Year Old Me,

What!?!?  You’re still in the closet?  Honey , tsk, tsk, tsk (smh), you have wasted your 20s by not coming out.  As they say – youth is wasted on the young.  I know that you know that you like men.  I know that you can relate to Will Truman’s character.  I know that you can’t relate to Joey De Leon’s depiction of a gay character (and frankly you will look hideous in drag) but nonetheless you are gay. You like men and you must embrace this wonderful gayness that you are.

You are a successful man. You have learned how to lead people in your youth and because of that experience – you will continue to be successful and will continue to lead other people who trust in your capabilities.  This is why you need to learn how to lead yourself.  Tell yourself to stop being a whiner. Stop imagining that bad things will happen to you, and your friends, and your career if you come out.   Take your hand and open that proverbial gay closet door and come out.  Believe me when I say to you that admitting to yourself, and your friends, and your family, and your colleagues that you are gay is going to be fantastic.

Help me with this exercise by looking at your recent pictures.   Just look at maybe 10 of them.  Look closely at that face --- don’t you think you look constipated?  You do.  Honey, you look constipated because you have all these pent up feelings inside – of not being able to express how you feel.  

When you come out --- you will be able to express your love for fashion,  your love for everything Martha Stewart (even if at your time she just got convicted and is serving her sentence in jail),  your passion for everything beautiful ,  and last but not the least – you’re desire to be Papa Piolo’s husband.   Look at yourself in those pictures again – and see that constipated look.   Now grab a mirror and look at yourself and say these words to that reflection in the mirror: “I am gay.  You are gay.”   Wow! That’s the first step to coming out.  Admitting and accepting who you are is the first step to this liberating exercise.  Don’t you look less constipated now?

Now you can start telling a select set of your friends.  It is not going to be easy --- but listen to these wise words used for the gay youth like you: “It gets better”.

With Much Love,

The 40-something Year old you

(Blogger's Note - this is advice number 1 for the 30 year old me and was written as part of a really long letter found here.)