Living with Our Parents

Dear 30 Year Old Me,

It's a Saturday morning.  I didn't have any Friday night plans - which is really good because I had a restful sleep.  I need that after the busy week that I just had.

Writing to you is an odd experience because I feel a lot of contradicting things inside as a write these letters.  Right now,  I tell myself, I ran out of ideas to write about.  As I type on my Macbook (yes - you became an Apple Fan boy), and the letters start to appear onscreen - a gazillion ideas just pop up in my mind and then I tell myself I don't know where to start.  In the past, when I feel these contradicting feelings, I just freeze and  stop what I'm doing and tell myself that it's not worth it. These days, I've learned how to fight it.  The confused feelings don't last long and when they are lifted from my mind, I get to focus and actually complete the task at hand.

I thought I would start today by reminding you that I'm your Forty year old self.  So I can see your future.  Quirky idea isn't it?  We are sci-fi fans so we know there's danger involved when the future person reveals details to their past persona.  That's just science fiction - so I will disregard it and still reveal this tiny bit of detail about my life now.  I am now living with Papa and Mama in the same house.  For almost 10 years, I lived on my own, but when I moved to Baguio for a job, I told Papa that I want him and Mama to move to Baguio with me.  If there's one thing that I learned from our brief stint in the US - I really can't live far away from my family.  I'm a drifter.  I don't like keeping in touch.  I don' like long phone calls.  I don't write e-mails.  And when I was in the US,  I realized that when I stop keeping in touch,  one day I wanted to talk to our folks and realize that I did not  know how to.  This time,  I didn't want to put myself and our parents in the same situation so I resolved to ask our folks to move with us.  They were very happy to do so - given that the destination will be good for them.   Papa, Mama and I all packed our bags - along with our two dogs then (the third one joined us when we were already in Baguio) - then we settled in the City of Pines.

Living together under one roof wasn't much of a challenge.  At this age, all of us already treat each other as adults.  You see, I find that in most dysfunctional parent and child relationships, the parents treat their sons and daughters as if the latter were children.  The children resent these interactions but they actually commit the same "crime" against their parents.  As the parents get older, and lose some of their faculties ( and we're lucky - Mama and Papa are strong physically and mentally ) - the children start treating their parents like the latter were children.   There's a lot of horror in those types of interactions and my advice to you - when you get to this time in your life.  Remind yourself - and your parents that you all are adults and treat each other as such.

I am sorry I don't have a list of three to five things that I want to share with you today.  I just thought that it was nice to just talk to you about our lives.   Wait - I lied - I don't have three pieces of advice but I have one.  When you start living with Mama and Papa - you will realize that you missed their home cooked meals.  This will lead you to gorge on every meal that your mom cooks for you.   May I remind you that you love every fattening and carb-full recipe that she can concoct.  Like many other things that you consume - please practice moderation.  Otherwise - you will end up a fatty with very high bad cholesterol levels in your blood.

I hope you're reading this on a weekend as I am writing it on a Saturday morning.  I don't have plans for today.  I just want to walk the dogs this morning.  Get some supplies for my week's salad and shakes downtown.  Then - maybe write more letters to you.

Before I end this - I was thinking it would be fun to give you a nickname.  I settled on Timmy (Thiry-Me contacted).  I'm being silly I know but it's a lot shorter than writing the full phrase - 30-year-old-me.

Anyways - Timmy - I love the ring of that - I will end this letter (like any conversations on the phone I don't know how to end letters).  I hope that you really have a great weekend.

With much love,

Forty Year Old You.