The Procrastinator

Dear 30 Year Old Me,

In this letter - I will give you a different name - because I'm going to reveal something about us/me that I've been trying to address but shamefully could not fully resolve.  Most of the time,  I take two steps forward and one step back.  The progress is very slow - and I thought it would be therapeutic to just openly admit it ( but still hide my true identity via a pseudonym ).

 Hi.  You can call me Joey.  I am a procrastinator.  

You will not be able to tell that I have a problem just by looking at me,  I seem to be a very successful guy,  I hold an important position in the company I work for.  I earn enough money to live a comfortable life and even help with my family's expenses (parents, siblings - I am not married and I don't have kids).  There are people who know me and can honestly say that they admire me.

The thing is,  I am not all that.  I have a deep seated problem that I am trying to overcome.  In the English language - you call it procrastination.  In our culture (being Filipino) - we call it the mañana habit.  Manana is the Spanish word for tomorrow.  Putting these English and Filipino concepts together,  we can then say that procrastination is the habit of putting off till tomorrow important activities that should be done today.  For most procrastinators like me,  tomorrow comes and we  will once again say "I will just do it tomorrow".

I am currently in the process of kicking the habit.  I woke up one day realizing that my life is a bit of a mess and all that I currently have: the good job, the respect of other people, the money that I use to support myself and my family - are in danger of just vanishing into thin air if I continue to procrastinate.

I know that I am not alone in trying to overcome the Mañana habit,  Millions of people are afflicted by this 'disease'.  You may be surprised that I use such a strong word,  If you are in my shoes you will understand why I call it a disease,  Procrastination is like cancer that eats up your insides every time you get into a situation when your procrastination causes stress in your life.  In fact,  it is not uncommon for me to whisper to myself "Kill me now," when I miss the many deadlines that I encounter in my life of procrastination,

I will continue to write in these letters this life of procrastination.  I am hoping that it will help me get the important things done once and for all.   I do hope that as you read this, you can help me by giving words of encouragement as I go through this difficult process.  If anything I say sounds familiar because you have gone through the same experience,  tell me about it.  Are you trying to overcome procrastination problems as well?  Let's try to help each other out.

Hi.  I'm Joey.  I am a Procrastinator.

With much love,

The 40 Year Old you.